Title Cumsprite
Pages 8
Rating -
Fountain of Doubt

Cumsprite is the very first Oglaf story. It is eight pages long and introduces the characters Ivan and the Mistress, and the creatures Cumsprites and Succubi.



The Mistress tortures Ivan

Ivan masturbates in his cell in the Mistress's castle. He is shocked when he ejaculates and his semen spontaneously forms itself into a tiny semi humanoid creature that immediately runs to the mistress to tattle on him. The Mistress rewards the cumsprite by allowing it to splash on her breasts. The Mistress informs Ivan that he is forbidden to masturbate and that she has enchanted his semen to form cumsprites whenever he does. The Mistress then assigns Ivan to apply oil twice a day to a pair of succubi held prisoner in the dungeon. As Ivan finishes oiling the two succubi for the first time, the succubi begain engaging in erotic lesbian play. The story ends with another cumsprite running to the Mistress.

Featured charactersEdit

Bold text means that this is the first appearance of the character.


  • Page 1: Some towers just have horns.
  • Page 2: 'dobbing' is the Australian word for 'telling'
  • Page 3: tiny wet footprints on the tiles
  • Page 4: why don't they make tissues with pornography printed on them?
  • Page 5: Do not pity the spent cumsprite. It's in a better place.
  • Page 6: A no-pants prison
  • Page 7: You'd think they could just secrete something
  • Page 8: the star filter arrives.


  • Page 1: Oboe. The official musical instrument of ejaculation.
  • Page 2: evolution doesn't really favour the fast sperm - you're racing your own genes
  • Page 3: 'Sperm' is short for 'Spermatozoon' apparently. That just sounds like a kids' show to me.
  • Page 4: we're all about the dentistry
  • Page 5: Semen is potential people. Eating it is potential cannibalism.
  • Page 6: Life can be harsh and unpredictable. At least it's not harsh and predictable.
  • Page 7: I wonder how sponges clean themselves.
  • Page 8: Prisons often have nice mood lighting.


  • At 8 pages long, Cumsprite is the longest Oglaf story that has been published so far. The second-longest is Habeas Corpus, at 7 pages long.