This is a list of different inventions that the Dwarves have created in the Oglaf comics.

The wondrous swordEdit

The wondrous sword was created in The Obituator™ on commission of some humans in war. it is the size of a plow and features a "bit that flies off and cut up their faces", a place where "you strap a live viper to bite while you smite" and a huge cock on the back that "comes alive at night and fucks your wife". After seeing the presentation of the sword the job requester did not seem interested in putting the sword to use.


The wondrous sword

The ring of blissEdit

The ring of bliss is given to a passerby in Ring of Bliss. "It totally makes you happy all the time". The passerby died from happiness after putting it on his finger.


Ring of Bliss

The best headstone everEdit

The best headstone ever is the headstone made for the passerby that died from happiness in Ring of Bliss. It consists of a headstone with tentacles on the front and back toward the top, as well as fire-shooting penises and bat wings attached to both sides.


The best headstone ever in Ring of Bliss

The cunt augerEdit

The cunt auger was seen in Cavalcade of Wonders. "It doesn't drill holes! It drills vaginas!"


Cunt Auger

The transformation ringEdit

The transformation ring was seen in Cavalcade of Wonders. "Put it on a woman, she becomes your wife". The dwarves stole the idea from humans.


Transformation Ring

The wand golemEdit

The wand golem was seen in Cavalcade of Wonders. "Totally made out of magic wands. He shoots fire and shit everywhere."


Wand Golem

The chariot that's waaay faster than youEdit

The chariot that's waaay faster than you was seen in Cavalcade of Wonders. "By the time you arrive, it's already been there six hours." When asked about what happens if one goes in it, the brains of the two dwarves that had invented it, exploded.


Chariot That's Waaay Faster Than You

The Cold-Proof VibratorEdit

The cold-proof vibrator was seen in Tool. This vibrator was made specifically for the Snow Queen, allowing her to satisfy herself. This resulted in an early spring.


The Cold-Proof Vibrator

Combination CockEdit

A combination lock/door knob resembling a large erect penis seen in Brass Knobs. The lock could only be opened via fellatio on the handle using a specific set of moves.


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Chess Playing GolemEdit

First appearing in The Automaton this golem is designed to play chess, but gets angry and knocks the board over after only one move.

"It also plays the piano... it plays to fukken win!"


Chess playing golem

Draconian Sex ToyEdit

This sex toy was first seen in The Lonely Mountain and was presumably good enough that the dragon was willing to trade a wagon full of its treasure for it.


Draconian Sex Toy