|Publication date||August 8, 2010|
Ivan is forcibly carried into one of the Mistress's parties (which he is not allowed to be at) and thrown into a pillow fort occupied by Sandoval. Sandoval offers Ivan a small piece of cake from Xoan. Ivan is reluctant to eat the cake. Sandoval eats part of the cake himself, convincing Ivan to eat the remainder. Sandoval then drinks half a bottle of antidote and pours the rest on his crotch, revealing that the cake was indeed poisoned and that Ivan must now suck the remainder of the antidote from his penis.
- "a roomful of mysteries and penises"
- "When life gives you mascara, make masquerade."
- "Suspicious tiny fruit."
- "It used to be a coat-hook. Now it's my costume."
- "A generous offer."
- "Antidote works especially well on love potions."
This story is the first time Sandoval's name is used in universe. Up until this time he had only been referred to as the Xoan ambassador.