|Publication date||September 1, 2013|
Two Wishes is a single-page Oglaf story.
A large thug claiming to be a genie tells a young man he has a choice betweeen two wishes, either "I wish I wasn't bleeding through my neck" or "I wish I had my money". The young man believes the thug is a real genie and begins making wishes. The thug becomes annoyed and demands the young man's purse. The young man then reveals that it was already taken by a "leprechaun".
- "Understand and deliver"
- "Later that evening, the grammar police arrested the mugger for misusing the word 'extortionist'"